top of page

Home Of Self Transformation Blog

Beautiful woman sits in a pose of a half lotus on high place amazing view of the island ou
Search

Transforming your life by breaking attachments to your emotions



Today's post is not about external attachments like we might have with our Mother, lover, or children but more about our emotional attachments. I will discuss how breaking emotional attachments within ourselves transforms our lives and circumstances.


If we are the creators of our lives for better or worse, how can we test that theory to see if it holds any weight? I will ask you today not just to read but to look. Look where? Look into your own life to see if what I'm saying can be recognised or registered because the test of any truth is weighed by whether it's true or not in your own experience.


For example, if I were to say that stubbing your toe hurts, you would know that as a truth in your own experience. You would say, "Yes, that's true, and it bloody hurts," so never just read. The most important thing you can do is look because we can verify the truth by looking.


There's only one absolute permanent truth, and that's the truth of god, which can be of no concept but of an awareness of being; everything else is relative, meaning it's only relative now in our experience. Ultimately, all experiences collapse into the eternal truth of being. Experience stops when your heart stops beating and your eyes close for the last time. Your existence is over, and everything you believe yourself to be vanishes in the blink of an eye. You're dead, well, at least physically. However, the truth lives on as your consciousness detaches from your body and the person you have been playing to remember the only truth: that being is eternal. But the key is not to wait for death for this realisation; the key is to do the dying before your death. The key is to detach your consciousness from your attachments to your emotions, which your identity arises from.



Let's explore these emotional attachments and how they form in our consciousness; first off, we have to start with the fundamentals, and that is consciousness. Now consciousness, until purified, is attached to all the ideas and emotions that arise in our bodies. For example, every thought or emotion arises within your body; they are ever-changing and not constants. An example of that is sadness is not who you are. It's an arsing emotion within your body; anger is not who you are; it's an arsing emotion within the body. We have all these fluctuations of thought and emotion, but what can perceive all these changes is not subject to change. Our consciousness is like the container that holds it all together, that allows it all to be. Our consciousness or awareness gives attention to what is arising within it.


Stay with me


To realise god, we have to purify the container more and more until only our pure awareness remains. That requires a detachment from our thoughts and emotions, which takes time and years. In fact, I'm currently in year 7 of my awakening, and although my container is almost empty, the old emotions and thought patterns are still arising, although I'm more and more detached from them.

They no longer hold much, if any, ground in my being. As I've realised god or being more and more, I've purified my attachments to pain. Yes, we are attached to pain; most of our personalities are built upon the foundations of pain. The personality only really becomes the mask we wear to cover over the deep wounds and scars that cover our faces.


Beneath the smiles and beneath the facade is the deep pain that runs humanity subconsciously. That attachment to pain arises in ourselves as the pain of never truly being loved. Deep down, we all yearn for love and intimacy, but we fear it so much because we have been hurt in the past and have yet to heal those wounds. Those very early wounds we have experienced in our childhood create deep wounds from which most of us never recover. The identification with the wounding then creates the life we experience and the painful situations that arise of heartbreak, loss, grief and every other emotion in between. But before we can even begin to heal those wounds, we must first identify them, and that's what I want you to do in your life: identify where these wounds show up. I will list a few now to shine more light on them.


Do you demand more love in your relationships?

Do you fight and argue with your loved ones?

Do you judge yourself?

Do you hide how you feel because you are ashamed of yourself?

Do you focus on your flaws?

Do you get jealous?

Do you resent others?

Do you find it hard to trust?

Do you feel a lack?

Do you focus on others' negatives and flaws?

Do you speak badly about yourself and others?


These are just a few identifications we have with pain; all of the above come from the identification with unresolved trauma. When we identify with our wounds of what someone did or didn't do to us, through that identification, we create a world around us that reflects those very wounds. We are constantly creating our reality by what's in our container. Holding pain in your container is a sure way of creating more pain to experience. Next time you see yourself identifying with pain, are you going to be able to see it? To understand it? Are you able to stand amid your emotional reactions and contain them? Which means to not express it through demand, wants and personal desire? Are you able to recognise pain when it arises? Can you start seeing that your identification with pain is what's creating the experience you're having right now? Can you begin to see how they are mirroring each other? Awakening is no easy game, but it's a game we must all play to improve our lives. We must begin to see that we are ready for change or don't want to.



Not wanting to change is to keep your guard up, dig your heels in, and say, "No, I'm not budging," that's fine. That's your choice, but not opening up is also your choice to experience the pain of being closed off as you experience people who will reflect that. We always have a choice: open up or remain in pain. Those who open up begin to purify their container by no longer identifying with the pain and instead accept that it's there and begin to work on taking the emotional charge out of it. This is done through conscious choice to learn more about where this pain is coming from and shed it in the light of your awareness.


The more aware you become of the damaging effects it has on your life, the more you will disidentify with it and, in doing so, begin to break your attachment to punishing yourself and others. I want to explain why we punish ourselves, which stems back to the conditioning of society and our upbringing. As children, we are raised in a system of control and standards that we must reach to be a part of society. Otherwise, we are deemed useless, which means undesirable and deep down, we all want to be desired because, at our core, we are love. What this does to children is create deep wounds as we are punished for not being a particular way; every time we punish our children with our emotions, we confirm that something is wrong with them, that parts of who they are are undesirable. The punishment they receive becomes the punishment that they/we inflict on ourselves. We end up mirroring how mum and dad feel by doing it to ourselves, and the self-punishment to fit in and conform becomes passed on to the next generation. The pain of feeling like this in our childhood never leaves us because it's from that very conditioning that our personality forms; we then spend a life trying to overcome those wounds by projecting ourselves and our happiness into the world.


As you all know by now, no matter what you do or achieve, it creates no real change in how you feel. The unhappiness and discontent you feel in your life never leave you. Well, only when you begin to purify your identification with it out of your being. To grow in self-awareness like this is to reshape your reality and the understanding of who you are. As you regain control over your emotions, you begin to dissolve the identification with pain, and your personality begins to die. Your personality is only your desperate attempt to find comfort, connection or convenience, and its sole purpose is to hide and overcome the wounding from which it gave rise to it.


As you begin to transform within, a break up of the old self begins, and a transformation begins in your own awareness. As the attachments break and the personality dissolves, something else emerges. It is, in fact, the awareness of god or the state of being within. As the emotions begin to die, peace begins to emerge, and you begin to recognise the state of being as the actual one and only truth of life. All attachments fall away, and the state of being remains from which a beautiful harmony arises. When no more pain and conflict is within your life, it begins to mirror more and more this new state of being or awareness. As you sink deeper and deeper into being, god reveals itself more and more, as the personality crumbles into impersonal shines through. The person and its separation no longer genuinely exist. Life awakens in humanity, and the person's life is never the same again. It's this realisation that most have at death but have lived a life of death because they have been cut off from the life within themselves. The key is awakening from the pain and into life before death. Only then is life magical and beautiful.


In Love

David xx










5 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page